Tyrian, the Wiki

'Twas brillig and the slithey todes did wamble on to...

The Interstellar House of Gruel

Yes, friends. It's all happening here in our Gruel!

I'm Jacob Riitwiit, head of gruel research at ICBG - I Can't Believe it's Gruel. We have worked long hours perfecting the greatest gruel recipe ever!

Some of your ancestors may have walked in primitive huts, sampling this nutritious snack. And, now, you can continue the tradition with:

Auntie Boglog's Swill-diddily-blugus Bars! We've taken the same great taste and tantalizing aroma and crammed it into these little bars.

[Disgusting cartoon of gnomes singing and swimming around in a stump filled with gruel.]

Slop it here,
squish it there,
it's all a lump of gruel.

We like to eat this tasty snack
and soon you wi-ill too!

'Cause we're the gnomes of Cackle-Berry
who make this tasty gruel.

It's filling...
and hangs well on the wall.


Swill-diddily-blugus Bars!

Tasty with a heart!

Swill-diddily-blugus Bars!

Sealed in with a f---

[Scene edited out.]

So buy some today!